im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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