batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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