hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woke up backwards on a recliner
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
