I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
