Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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