covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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