so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize