If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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