Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
