Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
