So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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