Welp...herpes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
