can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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