babies were throwing up all over the place
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
