i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
