I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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