As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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