Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
