oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
