Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So drunk its hurt
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize