I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
