what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
