i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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