Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
