Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
So. Much. Porn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
