Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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