your thong is hanging out like whoa
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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