you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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