Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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