worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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