let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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