Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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