she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
