no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize