Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We got so high we made milksteak
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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