they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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