I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm really busy with my period
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