Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
