and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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