My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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