OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
