I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
pray to the hookup gods
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
