this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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