Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
