Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
