So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
