I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
