I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
