My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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