My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
