I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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