what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
