Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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