I love black thongs
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
