I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize