Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.

Fav 15 878 1701
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(719): View more from Colorado

wanna go halves on a baby?

Fav 18 1549 1273
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(573): View more from Missouri

she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

Fav 27 6901 1214
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.

Fav 9 3561 1754
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(256): View more from Alabama

Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

Fav 9 1865 801
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(574): View more from Indiana

Whiskey??

(706): View more from Georgia

It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...

Fav 2 1014 1344
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(740): View more from Ohio

The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".

Fav 4 43 79
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(678): View more from Georgia

I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.

Fav 0 31 35
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