i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize