I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
