Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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