nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
