stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
